8/28/2026

2:29am -tracked on pony town

Was walking around Pony Town just now and some random ass pegasis was stalking me all across the map lmao. She had some sort of camofladge magic and was blending into the environment while flying. She was just typing random machine noises like "bzzzt, beeeep, bbvvvs bvvvzz". I finally stopped and sat down at a picnic blanket and she said she was "tracking" me, and asked if I wanted to buy my photos lmao. I said no you can keep em, and she just vanished lol.

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8/25/2026

11:10am -new shoes

So a few days ago I found a pair of heels at savers that were only $7!! They are insanely pretty, very mature, yet still sweet and they make me feel 1000 times more beautiful than usual. Only thing is, they're my first pair of heels ever, so I'm having a super hard time wearing them at the moment. I'm it gets better with time, but they are like a 5 1/2 inch heel, so I wanna try and find another pair smaller for comfort, though I will still keep these ones!

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8/22/2026

2:06pm -people who are "too nice"

At goodwill, like I usually am. Came across a pink-haired person with eyeliner who was acting a bit EXAGERATED toward me; the kind of behavior you'd give to a 3 year-old at daycare. "OH YOU ARE SOOOOO CUTEEE!!! O M G!!!"

This may sound really negative and blunt, but I really do not like those kinds of people, because no one actually acts like that IRL. From my experience, that's usually something that people do when they want something from you. It's like that classic TV trope when one character says to another "have I ever told you how beautiful and sweet you are" and then the other guy is like "what do you want?" Like I'm done trusting "just anyone" these days, because of things like what I talked about in my last entry.

But like what could this person possibly have wanted from me? Well, much like I've experienced many times before these with color-hair, rainbow-toting, queer-imposters, they think I'm trans or in the LGBTQ and they act really nice to replenish their public-validation health bar. Spoiler alert, im nothing you freaks and never will be.

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8/20/2026

7:47pm -cowards and soldiers

About an hour ago, I got a text from someone I consider a coward; I was friends with this person for about a solid 4 years, before at some point he crashed out on me over the supidest thing possible.... POLITICS.

Anyway, he randomly hits me up every few months to pretend like nothing happened and we were still buddies, despite the truth. So today it was time for another routine "Hey buddy! How ya been? I miss you!!" DM, and most times I just ignore them, because I've moved on and I dont need him in my life anymore; But this time was different, because he actually acknowledged what happened and said sorry. Now this is where that saying "Never interrupt your enemy when they're making a mistake" comes into play.

After he said sorry, I told him I'd accepted his apology, because I am actually a very forgiving person and will come back to you if you really want me to, but I also told him how he made me feel; how I felt and how he affected me. I reminded him what happened and how he killed our friendship. That's when he decided to partially blame me as well and try to convince me it was both of our fault.

After that I basically told him he is a coward who cant accept the truth and he was still trying to make it about politics even after all this time. Some people will never change.

In conclusion, I don't need him and I don't need anyone; I know that sounds like villian arch, but I actually feel very at peace with my situation. Having no friends and being alone taught me that not everyone deserves me and I don't deserve everyone. It's with a certain level of strength and stoicism that I am able to navigate these issues with ease and it's not hard for me to get to the truth.

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7:19pm -in the moment #5

So me and my dad went to the Punk Rock Museum here in Vegas finally and it was cool, but I think we chose a shitty day to go; There was like no one there and we definitely missed out on a lot of very core features due to it being a weekday. That said, we had a fun time.

In other news, I've decided that I am no longer depressed over my loneliness anymore. After last night, I was taugh something very important by the universe around me; its that the most likely reason I've had such a hard time with friends and relationships in general is because of the fact that I'm autistic; I do and say shit that i don't realize and it makes shit weird for people, even though I'm not aware, so when they distance themselves Im just left with questions. That said, I've accepted the fact that I can't compromise myself for others. If someone is going to be my friend, they need to accept me for who I am. I've spent so long trying to be "NORMAL" when that was the problem the whole time. My whole life I've tried to just change who I am based on who I'm with and I just can't do it anymore; im sick of hiding my truest self.

2:14am -a new problem, a new revalation

I just got back from a late night run for a carne asada burrito at Roberto's. We have a lot of em down here so it wasn't a hard choice. When I came in, I was met with the friendliest Mexican chef I've ever seen. He didn't really speak any english, but for some reason he was just incredibly happy to see a lil tart walk in at 1:30am on a Thursday lmao. He was so sweet and I feel ten times better because of it. But that wasn't really the reason I was out so late; I sorta had a tough night... I've been dealing with a lot of loneliness; no friends, no boyfriend, no no one. It really bums me out. My whole life felt like I was always the Leftover Friend the person you hang out with when no one's home. Anyone I've ever been friends with eventually walked away from me quietly without a word. I always wondered how much of it was because of my autism; I tend to say and do things that some people may find strange or off-kilter, or so im told. I basically tend to do/say things I dont notice and the theory is, that's why I have no friends.

But I've come to the realization that I love myself more than anything and I won't sellout for someone who wouldn't truly accept me for who I really am. I met a guy last week who wanted to start a band and we met up one time to jam. Thing was It was really spontaneous, so I wasn't prepared to take him back to my place to make music the same day I met him. I learned he was actually a christian after I told him I was gay. He seemed mostly chill about it, but when I took him back to my apartment and he saw my girlie ass room, I feel like that was the reason he's not texting me. He said we could jam again from Mon - Wed, but it's Thursday now and no word back. But I decided that I won't ever hide who I am from people. What kind of an existence would I be living if I just hid myself away to avoid rejection. Fuck that.

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8/19/2026

6:00pm -in the moment #4

I got a randokm text from a guy named Bryan, who I don't know. He thought I was some dude named Lance and was asking if him and his boys could park their ATV rigs at Lance's house lmao. Ihad to mess with em! I played it off for a little bit, but he eventually caught on! It would've been funny af if him the boys just turned up to Lance's house one day uninvited lmao.

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8/16/2026

2:10pm -creating destruction

So I managed to single-handedly destroy an entire general chat on a discord server lmao. I banned a guy from my discord server who was being a little baby bitch, because someone used the retard word. After I banned him and his little boyfriend, they both went into the L4D2 discord server to bitch about it lmao. There was a solid 20 minutes of non-stop "WAAAH!! HE BANNED ME BECAUSE I WAS PROTECTING MY FRIEND FROM THE R-WORD" I just sat back and watched as a whole server crumbled before me.

After that, I left that server and someone in my private discord server let me know one of the loser mods was trying to get an invite and become a mod in MY server, because they believe that due to the fact that most people in my server are from their server, that my server is an extension of theirs. WTF?? I'm going to find his account and invite him just to put him on non-speaking restriction and give him a role that says "i thought i was him" or something lol.

1:18am -in the moment #3

oKAY. Just got done fighting my bitch ass internet for the last 30 minutes. If you know anything about me, you know you won't catch me dead talking to my ISP over the phone. hell no.

Anyway, didn't really do too much today other than go to goodwill; Infact, i actually found such an adorable top that I'm IN LOVE WITH. << Speaking of which, I plan to have a fashion section somewhere to feature my outfits and photography! I just gotta figure out the exposure settings i need and a good process to get into the groove of!

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8/16/2026

1:55am -Brony ass bitch

So I've never really been much of a Brony. Never really watched the show, never been to any events or anything, just more of a casual enjoyer of the community! but MLP has always been a part of my life to some extent. Recently, I discovered an MLP MMORPG called Pony Town. Made my little pony and hung out for a little bit.

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8/15/2026

8:13pm -encounter

So I just got back from the store. Grabbed a french bagette, some cookies, and an Arizona! However, before I left, I was walking to my car and I came across a neighbor; this guy named Ken. Older guy, in his mid-late 50s. Met him at a goodwill. But for some reason he was really excited to see me and I guess he'd never seen me in a croptop, so when he saw me he was asking if I was going out somewhere. Which was cool, I said "no, Im just going to the store!". But he like poked my belly and said I looked good and just walked off smiling LMAO. Never had that happen before, but I wasn't upset by it or anything, just thought was weird, but in a funny sort of way. This guy never really struck me as threatening or malicious so I just sort laughed about in my car after! lol

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8/14/2026

9:30pm -Kay's day out

So everyone knows that im an incredibly unhealthy person; I rarely go out, because of how hot it is, and I skip breakfast and lunch and only eat at night. But today it was that day of the week where I watch the sunset at 7:00 - 7:30pm, then head out to Zia Records to go find a new DVD to watch! As I went out, we had the most beautiful sunset sky, godrays peaking over the mountains in the distance, while combined with rain! It was the most beautiful night!

That said, the movie I picked up this week actually kinda sucked.... Jurassic Park 1 is one of my favorite movies ever, so I figured this time I'd snag a copy of JP2. Idk it's... Okay. It's actually one of the few movies that I decided to stop watching. It was mainly because of Doctor Malcom's shitty girlfriend. I just have a serious problem with people who 'bitch' about shit. And i'm sorry I couldn't lmao. The scene I ejected the disk on was where Malcom's girlfriend and daughter were double-teaming him in an argument that he was fully in the right in lmao. Maybe another time, not today; sorry steven!!!

12:48am -starting a band

I just met with a guy who was looking to start a pop-punk/hardcore band! It was very spontaneous and quick! We're actually writing a song right now! He has these incredible leads that go so well with my rhythm progressions, and he's really good! As for a band name, we're not sure just yet. Though, we were tossing some things around like "New Beginning" or "I Know Right". I'm really excited!

I was a bit nervous at first, because he said he was christian and I'm gayer than a box of crayons! But he was super cool about it! He wanted to go to my place to start writing and at first I was a bit hesitent, because of all the my little pony stuff in my room and the pink n stuff. But he never complained about it and I didnt feel nervous anymore!

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8/13/2026

12:43pm -zombie wakeup

Here be me, tried going to bed at 1am, woke up at 3. Couldn't go back to sleep, now i feel like a zombie. thank you.

Yeah this is a messed up sleep pattern for sure. But that's why having a balcony is great, sitting out there and looking out on the city far out is a great mood to be in!

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8/12/2026

10:18pm -that 10pm las vegas rain

Was out on the balcony again. I had a sweet little moment; the temparature is in the low 80s and I had my CD player bumping my fav Avril songs. Started raining out of nowhere and finally got a sweet taste of that rain!

6:14pm -coward comes crying back

Just got hit up by someone I used to be friends with who did me wrong some years back. When I was 16-17 I met this dude named Kriss who I would come to find later was bi-sexual and had the hots for me while he was in his mid to late 20s. Anyway, we stayed in touch for a few years after that and about a year and a half ago I posted a story on instagram about traffic in Seattle; At the time there were a lot of barbaric losers in the city that were rioting over Trump for no reason and it was backing up after-work traffic for miles. Of course, after saying something about it on my story this mole had to respond and basically busted my balls for "being racist" and "white privilage". I blocked that loser. After a while, he hits me back up and basically tried acting like nothing happened and we were still friends. This disgusting loser was all "Hey man! Just wanted to pop in and say hi and hope you're doing well!!" He's this like professional filmmaker with a legit film company and sports cars n shit, so he messaged me on his business acct. Now i'm not a dumbass. I read the message and just left him on 'seen' so he can just maronate in his mistakes. Now that was actually about a year ago, so it's been a bit of time since then. But I woke up from a nap not more than 20 minutes ago to a new message from this coward with the same thing LMAO. Still can't own up to his mistakes, still can't apologize!!

That said, I am super forgiving, if you say sorry and even if it's several years after the fact, I will accept your apology and we will have it behind us. But don't think I'm just gonna forgive just cuz you're nice to me. You need to show me you want me back.

3:08pm -in the moment #2

Been playing lots of left 4 dead recently; more than usual. I found a group of guys that all play survival each night and it's pretty cool.

Also, I had someone reach out to me recently about my old makeup videos. This person actually happens to be the creator of one of my favorite online webshows 'Necronancy64'. They wanted to know if it was cool to use my makeup routine; obviously I said yes, because one I don't do makeup anymore and two I don't see a problem with someone copying my makeup!

Last thing, been getting criticism of my use of the word 'Faggot'. Fuck you, it's my word i'm allowed. Also the F-word paradox is real! -People who use it on the regular as a joke or just to be edgy always tend to be the nicest and most caring people; yet the people who freak out over it tend to be the ugliest on the inside! bye bye!!!

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8/11/2026

1:39pm -cold and tired

So it's been an average of at least 110 degrees everyday here in the desert, which means my A/C is set much lower to compensate; But today it's only 95 degrees so suddenly at 1:40pm my apartment is freezing cold!! Literally freezing my little arms off in here!

Was thinking of going to Robertos later today for a good, huicy carne asada burrito

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8/10/2026

2:34pm -return of an old friend

Not more than an hour ago someone I went to highschool with hit me up after I asked on my story who wanted my new number; (kinda trying to see who would respond). And it's this cool chick who I was like a mutual friend with, we were never close or anything, but we had some good times. I used to work at the same Hot Topic location she works at now and she used to come in on my nights and hang out and chat. Something that struck me deep was she sent me an image of Vinyl Scratch from MLP and said it was my pfp for her phone and I legit feel so doped out rn! She actually remembered that!

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8/9/2026

10:06pm -at an impass

So I just got out of a game of Left 4 Dead with a life-long friend, which I met through my brother. He's one of those people who is very stubborn. And since we all live far from one another, it's hard to "hangout" with him outside of videogames.

That said, he is a Twitch streamer and he's basically ALWAYS streaming. Like there's never a question of "I wonder if he's live right now". The main issue I'm having, is it feels like his stream is more important than me and everyone in our circle. Thing is, you can't get him to play anything you want to play and it's always the same game everytime.... Counterstrike. Like I wanna talk to him, but 2 things; 1 we really aren't that close, and 2 he doesn't really respond well to criticism. It's really always this "what are you talking about??" response anytime I've mentioned how hard it is to play with him. I mean, everytime i'm invited to play CS, I feel like i'm just there to fill up a 5th spot for ranked, because when I play with him I just fail miserably and have a horrible time due to his high elo. Like I'm sorry, but if that's the only way I can hang out with him, then I don't wanna do it. Like no one ever questions "I wonder why Keegan is always miserable" It's because I'm playing a game I hate, just to be around someone who doesn't care that i'm there.

Last thing... He's been talking about playing Left 4 Dead to film a video for his channel, and normally I would be overjoyed to play left 4 dead with him. Problem is, It's not because he want's to play my favorite game with me, it's because he want's to do it for his channel. Like the only time you can really enjoy your time with this guy, is if he's happy and doing what he wants to do; And even then it's rare that I enjoy my time with him. Like just turn the fucking stream off for once and be there for your friends.

12:23pm -walking dead

Man I am a freaking animal lmao. I stayed up until 5am last night/this morning and just BARELY woke up no less than 5 minutes ago. It was mainly due to the fact I decided to "nap" at 10pm, which most normal people would consider just going to bed lmao. But hey, get off my ass I love the night time and I was having a good night! It's okay to pull an all-nighter every now and then! Anyways, I'm gonna go sit out on my balcony and drink my juice.

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8/8/2026

1:22am -Trans??

Just woke up from my piggy nap. I was thinking about something kinda funny that happened last night. On Thursday, I was hanging out with some people in the discord server playing L4D2, and I was talking about how people used to often people used to mistake me for Transgender, because of all the makeup I used to wear and the crossdressing. WELL. Last night I was up to my usual business, and a random guy asked me "are you transgender?"; Now as you'd expect I wasn't offended or anything, but I was just astonished. Not only were we talking about it the night before, but clearly nowadays if you're even a little bit effeminite you're considered trans now. HELL at this point everybody on earth is trans!

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8/7/2026

1:53pm -Autism + Social Issues

So something that happened in the several months I was inactive, was me and my family discovered that I am on the sprectrum. And although I am not diagnosed, its pretty obvious. I repeat random shit I see on TV, I watch the same movies everynight and everything in my life is extremely ridged and routine, and I always feel like I'm talking to a brick wall when trying to socialize. Among those, I also have a lot of social problems as a result. Me and my mom made the realization that I'm only really interested in a tight circle of things; music, art, paranormal, and some others. But my mom thinks that a lot of my problems are caused by the fact that I don't really have much to talk about that most others can connect to.

Problem is, I've tried before to adjust my interests to other's as a way to try and fit in, but I feel like when I talk people don't really connect with me.

2:36am -in the moment #1

Just got out of a mostly chill match of Left 4 Dead 2. Was in discord with some people I was with and some dumbass moderator kicked me and muted me for an hour for saying slurs?? Which like.. I was AFK?? Anyway, played Superflight for about 10 minutes, it was chill. Love playing superflight from time to time if I need to clear my mind or chill out. While I was in Discord I had my camera on, which was very rare for me. But ever since I decided to stop wearing makeup and full-on crossdressing, my confidence has been through the roof! People need to just embrace themselves and find out what they need to do to love themselves. Much of the time I figure, people who are self-concious of their looks tend to hide it away and not address it. For me, I really wanted to be hyper feminine and have curves and a big butt, but then I looked at my biggest mancrushes and realized I didn't need to beat myself up for looking a certain way. Much of the time we are our own worst enemy...

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8/6/2026

8:51pm -No more makeup

As the chairman, and CEO of Kaysworld Inc, I have decided that makeup will play a much smaller role in my life. I've always known that makeup sort of felt....off? Like I always knew I wasn't gonna do makeup forever, but not more than a few weeks ago I made a realization; That I hated myself. I HAD NEVER FELT THAT IN MY LIFE. I always loved myself, but I realized that it was because I was trying to look like something I'm not! I was trying to be a doll, when I know that's not who I am.

Social Media kills....and the epiphany happened when I found a poster of Prince from the 80s at a record store, and saw how beautiful he was, but also how simple! He didn't need extravigant outfits, or overkill makeup, and he definitely didn't need to try and 'looksmaxx'. He was pretty as he was. Same thing with Jaye Davidson!

Now, I feel way more confident just being a cute little gay, walking around with his simple style and hips far out!

2:32pm -Catch up on life...

Today is the day I try and start my diary up again. The last year has been the widlest one so far. I spent over 8 months unemployed and looping in an endless humiliation of being rejected everywhere I went; I actually got a job at a go-kart place that I hated more than any job I've ever had, that I was eventually fired from after 2 weeks, due to a mistake by management; And I eventually met an executive of MGM casino resorts who finally came around and gave me the opportunity I was starving for.

He is actually a distant in-law, separated by a few generations that I met at my aunt's 4th of July pool party! I'm not too sure when I'm expected to actually start working, but he said he can get me working in around 5-6 months. Thats a long-ways out, but I'm in it for a ride!

Lmao don't know who's kid is in danger
on Pony Town, but hims better run

New Section!

Just added a new section! The "Image Of The Day!!!" I was wandering around in Pony Town and I ran passed some random pony with a caption above his head that just says "i hope that kid fucking dies" lmao. gave me the inspiration to have a spot to show off my favorite image that i've seen for the day!

Jaye Davidson

Meet my first ever mancrush. Since I was a kid I always knew something was off; an intense misalignment from my self-perception to how I was perceived publicly. But I never connected the dots until I was about 18 that I was Gay. Yet, all throughout my childhood I was aroused by boys wearing makeup, I had an obsession with men's legs and I'd watched movies and TV shows I didn't really care for, only for a specific male character.

But as the story goes, I was going through a severe lapse in my sexual identity and it was eating me alive; But one fateful night, I put on Ancient Alines to watch before bed, and I woke up at 3am randomly and the movie Stargate was on. Although I had never seen it before, I had nothing better to do, so I indulged! But the second I saw this beautiful, gorguous man appear on screen my life changed. He was the first man I saw that I really believed in my heart that I fell in love with!

Avril Lavigne & Fefe Dobson

Avril and Fefe were some of the artists that helped me through last year. Fefe's song "Revolution Song" literally made me ball like a little girl as it perfectly described what I was going through;
Same with Avril's "Complicated" & "Tomorrow"

Blaire White

Blaire is one of the only people on YouTube I watch. She is just such a source of truth and closure that brought me much of my own world views. And although I am not Transgender, I can recognize that Gays and Trannies can overlap at times; I mean most people mistake me for Trans and I can't blame them. But Blaire really helped me understand what it really means to be Queer in this time, when most people under the LGBT are crazy, immature, melodramatic weirdos who completely misrepresent how real Gay and Trans people are. And she helped me to not be afraid to tell the truth and that I am not a bad person for thinking this, because I experience much of the same troubles trans people do.

As a final note, she is so damn pretty, I mean good for her! It's very rare for a trans woman to pull it off as well as she does!

KAYSWORLD ZINE V1
Made using Photoshop.
This Zine was made for self expression and discovery.
I was also working on this Zine during the worst time of my life
which helped me stay sane in a time of insanity.

KAYSWORLD ZINE V2
Made using Photoshop.
Used a lot of dithering and grayscale with blending modes
way more outfits and styles than the last one
goes out to the fake trannies who think they get me.